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The Playboy, The Hollywood, The Brazilian, The Whatever. ‘How, how,’ he complained, ‘could you give Columnist of the Year to someone who writes about minge hair?’ All forms of expression are valid. Aren't they?

Like we've always said, any form of expression is good: "A subculture of 'turntablists' has grown up – 'scratchers' invest hundreds of dollars and hours of time hovering over two turntables and a mixer, their fast-moving hands furiously scratching up records and wearing down needles."