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Can't cry at art? Helen McLean reviews "Pictures and Tears", the new James Elkins book that "lists ways of improving our habits of looking at art. Go to museums alone...Don't try to see everything. Minimize distractions. Take your time. Pay full attention. If a picture affects you deeply, go back and visit it again." The same works with digittante.

According to Carlin Romano, the new Iris Murdoch memoir by Peter J. Conradi "rumbles into town like a traveling circus, replete with sideshows, dancing bears and acrobatics, and a charismatic star who never strays out of the audience's sight lines."

"Driving through the badlands of south-east London as I came back from Paris," says Stuart Jeffries, "I was immediately struck by the melancholy, vulnerable bearing of people in the streets, more than by the crumbling and modest Victoriana that is London's architectural face." All Hail Sclerositania!

"Thus the Milton-Is-Sincere school accepts the surface of the text and then uses that surface meaning to prove its case; while the Milton-as-Closet-Satanist position by definition has to deny the validity of the surface meaning as probative." Enter Stanley Fish to foul the waters and swim upstream.

Harvard Professor Cornel West, seeking a new audience, says, "We need a whole generation of Lauryn Hills and Mos Defs - young folks talking about freedom and justice, all that talent and creativity channeled in that way." He's doing it this way.

Like catchy expressions such as Aaron's rod, banana, baby-maker, coupling pin, gun, Jack-in-the-box, joystick, roly-poly, sweetmeat, thorn in the flesh, tool, and unruly member? David M. Friedman gets a rise reviewing "A Cultural History of the Penis"

Bored with life? Feeling left out, disenfranchised, socially inept, afraid of strangers and their strangee ways? Unable to find a good job in a rich country like you see on television? Then this book is for you.